Monday, March 23, 2009

Tales of the tainted wood.

As I crawled out of bed all naturally, I felt a draft. It made me giggle as it reminded me of the time Julio and his wet sperpent traveled into my deep dark moist cave filled with cobwebs. Sadly, I haven’t been active in that department for several years. As Julio’s serpent made its way into my “moist cave”, I felt the heat rush into my breast and tingle as I watched Julio swung his hips in an awkward motion. He has a good body and good hips; he might last 50 years with me over the counter top table of my kitchen of course. *wink* He would pound me the same way I would pound meat for hamburgers. It was also just as tasty! Even our buns were toasted from all the hot oven lovin'.

Sadly three weeks later, I caught Julio with the milk man. I should have suspected something when he never left jizz juice on my chest. I would have been more pissed off but they allowed me to film their time together. Now I have $300 from selling the videos on the web. I invested that money into S&M clothing - I love my brand spankin' new PVC suit. I shave myself in the summer so the suit sticks real good. Julio would shave too. He would leave his huevo splash all over my sink. At first I saw chin hair, but it was rather long to be facial hair that’s when I started questioning Julio’s sexuality.

Later that month I went to a loofah convention, that’s where I met Fran. She was a butchy as can be but I loved everything about her starting from her fake drawn on moustache to her Turkish musk that would radiate from her pits in the summer. She told me she was a man and she whipped out whipped cream and strawberries. To my surprise I had myself a banana split, and yes I didn’t even need a real banana. Thanks Fran, you doll.

Natasha Yurp

Hello dear lay a’bouts and pixie stick sniffers.We all touch ourselves in many ways, however it be emotionally, or even….physically, I am not afraid to say it how it is. If you suck, I will remind you that you suck like a hooker on all fours. I have a messed up mind of a nymphomaniac partially due to my exposure to catholic school (with the uniform with the skirts and stuff). Life was not always easy on the streets I had to fight for a slice of bread, and a can of corn. The only weapon I had to defend myself was a rusty spork, that had seen to many battles. There was even a time I was invited to a joust. To my surprise we had no horses we had motorcycles and we used machetes instead of lances, I almost lost my arm.

Greetings Fellow Fappers

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